Completely Unrelated to anything.

I just recently made a tumblr for my dog.
He's pretty cool.
I'm pretty cool.

You should follow him.

Mr. RileyKins

Surprises In Life.

Never would I have thought I'd receive a reply...
I'd made a mistake, almost a year ago. Lost someone near and dear to me. Someone I could truthfully say I love you to. He tossed me from his life so abruptly, I knew it was over.
Now almost a year later I need to apologize. I need to let him know I didn't intend to hurt him, that In the process I hurt myself.
I never expected a response.
But there it is...
Right there in front of me.
My heart beats heavy and loud in my chest, I don't want to get my hopes up but...
Will I have another chance to have him in my life. Will I regain my friend. Waiting all day for another reply. Oh the surprises you encounter in life...

Where has it gone..

I miss telling a man I love you, and actually meaning it. I miss writing poems for someone, just because I'm thinking of them. That butterfly feeling in my stomach caused by my feelings for someone, and not my anxiety. These are the things I miss...

I miss his skin against mine, his tender kisses, the feeling I got when I stared into his eyes. Why do things have to be so complicated, so messy. Why can't things stay how they were. I miss the feeling of being in a relationship with someone, sending them cute pictures during the day, feeling like I'm a part of something happy, something meaningful. 

Now I just feel rejected, unimportant, forgotten. I crave that attention, making stupid choices that end in my pain. When I lay in bed at night I don't imagine what it would be like if that man that I loved was there, holding me. Because he is no longer there, I no longer have him. I have no one, I am alone. 

A Time When I couldn't stand to create...

A darkened room,

I am there, alone.

Mind and soul empty.

Hands shake...

Charcoal scattered at my feet.

I am lost,

Paint oozes from the cracks in the walls,

all around me it looms.

I run.

I am lost

What i once had...

There is a part of me missing,

An empty hole.

Help me.

For I am lost.

Escape.

Disappear...entirely,

wouldn't that be grand?

No longer walking on this pavement...

My shoes no longer feel the earth beneath them..

Inside i am empty,

No longer in pain,

no more conflict..

Floating among the clouds,

A scent of clover, brush of satin...

Are you out there waiting for me?

Oh lord, please let it be...

Escape..

Little Bird

Little bird, little bird,

Do you see it too?

All the pain, all the carelessness...

Little bird, little bird,

Are you blind like them?

Like all the people saying words,

words with no meaning, no purpose.

Little bird, little bird,

no matter where you fly,

you cannot escape this thing...

this change in the world.

Little bird, little bird,

My dreams are dying,

dying in this ocean of idiocy,

Whores, lying, cheating, and crying

this world is not what it should be.

Little bird, little bird,

Do you see my tears?

Do you feel my anger?

Little bird, little bird...

Thoughts of Flight.

Broken Mirror

You're a pretender.

You Don't know who you are.

Lost in this world of ignorance and bright lights.

Swimming in a sea of hate and confusion...

So many people, weighing down my emotions

how do i find my way?

My mind is crowded, i can't hear my thoughts.

I'm Pretending, in this world, pretending.

voices all around me, muted and distorted.

My anger for the world welling up in my throat.

Disappointment's around every corner,

what's the point anymore?

Cheer myself up, just to be knocked down.

Annoyance everywhere, what is wrong with me?

Growing up is hard, but being surrounded by stupidity...

Is it worth it, No one will change, idiots forever.

Drowning in people who don't understand,

Common sense is gone, morals out the window...

Then there is me, sitting

staring into a broken mirror,

my flaws, my hate, my weakness, and ugliness

all on the surface,

staring at me...

Used Lost and Forgotten

Once again, I'm used.

Do i have a sticker on my face that says "All Guys must use me" Or what, this is the last time...I feel like giving up, again...

I honestly saw this coming...

Why did i not stop myself?

Why did i let it happen..

Like a torn leaf blowing in the wind, landing in a lake of blood...

Depression Like a blanket.

This video makes me cry every time i see it, which makes me feel slightly pathetic. Though I've realized that, more people need to feel Pain for this world, yes it is a beautiful place, but is also terrible. I feel as though no one cares, like i am the only one physically hurting over what i hear and see happening in this world we live in. Do you even know about the masses of people dying each second you breath? Masses of people who are not dying of natural causes, not of old age...Is this really going to be like this for as long as i am alive? If so, i fear i would love death much more...This world, i love it, it is so wonderful, full of life and beauty...But, it is also full of death, corruption, disease, greed, pain and torture...Can you live with that? can you just sit by, while people are in pain, can you pretend its not happening on our planet? I cant...

Death rates..

1.8 humans per second
106 humans per minute
6,360 humans per hour
152,640 humans per day
55,713,600 humans per year

www.transhumanism.org

When the leaves change, so does my soul.

Angel, come.
terror like rain, pelts the dark city
screaming and shrieking
except him.
no money, no shelter, no family to love.
his shopping cart, his only friend.
rattle, rattle like dogs from hell,
down the street.
bitter cold,
homeless and alone,
waiting for an angel.

over 500,000 people are currently homeless...www.worldforworld.org

Whatever you think, it's exactly the opposite.

Green like the colors of my life.
The unthinkable season of spring is here.
Gone is the winter strife,
the haze of spring is sheer.
Petals of pink cut through the air like a knife.
the only thing i know is that spring is near.
the hopelessness of winter is all but forgotten.
Sweet smells of silence trickle into my ear.
All the feelings of winter are gone, rotten.
the feeling speaks for itself, the air dewy and new
Spring is here.

Dancing on the edge of a knife.

When the sun sets, what do you hear?

When the clouds part, what do you see?

When the love leaves, what do you feel?

When the feeling fades, what's left but an empty shell of who and what you used to be. Why do we voluntarily put ourselves through this pain over and over. Masochism, are we all into it now?

Walking the Long lonely road to nowhere.

Have you ever woken up and not known where you were? I get that alot...Baha!
The weird thing is that this last week has gone by as if im in a haze. Everything flies by me as though im not a part of it, im not involve.
I'm just watching everything else happen...im an observer.